Game Day
1.
Its game day.
2.
The tools of my trade are few
3.
shoes, glove, bat, and ball
4.
It is game time.
5.
The smell of fresh popped corn diverts. Wet
grass and anticipation
6.
As I hear my name, snatch my glove, take the
field
7.
I am alone in my thoughts, the warmth of the
sun, flight of the hawk overhead
8.
Easily distracted like a child at zoo
9.
CRACK…. The ball is dancing in the air
10.
The wind tearing through the stadium
11.
I’m searching for a small white object in a sea
of blue
12.
Running, eyes searching, arm outstretched
13.
The force of the torpedo against my palm
14.
As I gaze at the white sphere nestled in its bed
of brown
15.
He’s OUT….
16.
The game is over.
17.
The game is won.
5. Diction- “The smell of fresh popcorn diverts.” This word
is at a different level of formality than the poem is written. I used it to
make this more powerful, because the smell of popcorn lingering while trying to
play a game is very very distracting.
8. Simile- “Easily distracted like a child at zoo.” I am
comparing my distractedness to how a child acts at a zoo by using the word like.
9. Onomatopoeia- “CRACK…” I use this word to portray the
sound of the ball hitting the bat
9. Personification- “The ball is dancing.” We all know a
ball cannot dance. Therefore I gave the ball the lifelike ability to dance,
even though it can’t perform such activity.
13. Symbolism- “The force of the torpedo against my palm.” I
use a torpedo to symbolize the baseball in this situation. I do this because a
torpedo most accurately describes how a ball comes at you when playing in the
outfield.
14. Imagery- “As I gaze at the white sphere nestled in its
bed of brown.” This line paints a vivid picture of what has happened. I look down and there is a ball in my glove,
as if it caught me by surprise.
16, 17. Anaphora-
“The game is over The game is won.” I use
the same phrase, “the game is” to bring repetition into the fact that I just made
the out that won the game for my team.
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ReplyDeleteProbably the single most interesting thing you've done in this poem how you did your onamatopoeia, which generate a great deal of excitement very suddenly only to place an elipses immediately after them. The effect is a very unsettling sense of energy, I would normally say you should attempt to add more but I think too many instances of it would spoil the effect. Very nice work.
ReplyDeleteI like the intensity that this poem has. I especially like the last two lines because they are very bold.
ReplyDeleteI like the way this poem captures the feelings the ballplayer has---both internally and physically. Also, anticipation and distraction are interesting contrasts that make me think.
ReplyDeleteYou may want to revise your punctuation a bit more. It seems like you do use it (traditionally) in some places to end sentence, but others lack puctuation. My advice to poets is either to use it throughout consistantly or not at all. In your case, I think it would help to use it throughout.